The Emancipation of Sh'Mimi...

So, I'm listening to some old-school Mariah "Mimi" "MC" Carey and an old classic came on- "Make It Happen". I remember being in middle school and loving it. (who was I kidding even then??!)

Now, I've loved MC since "Vision of Love" and "I Don't Wanna Cry"- still probably my 2 favourite Mimi ditties of all time. I have to say though, until each of the songs from "The Emancipation of Mimi" was released as a single, I really didn't like the album. With the exception of "We Belong Together". They all sounded the same. But since I've been hearing the new one, "Don't Forget About Us" (which, btw isn't on the album I bought because MC and her peeps decided that they didn't make enough money off of the 5 million copies that were sold originally so they needed to re-release the same cd with an additional song as an 'ultra-platinum' edition....
don't get me started...)

What happened to her good cd's- 'Mariah Carey' 'Emotions'....back when Mariah was on fiah...After the "Butterfly" release and then GLITTER and 'Charmbracelet'...all down hill. Thankfully, Mimi was emancipated and she is better than ever. SO they say...

I wonder if MC remembers when she did "Make it Happen"...when she talks about three years prior not being able to eat and struggling and trying and 'making it happen'...Now she's more than made it happen. However, I don't remember a concert tour- EVER....Random shows here and there, but I don't ever remember a world tour or even a North American tour...Mimi- we're waiting...

My point in all of this rambling- old-school MC (esp during the breakdown of 'Make it Happen'
sounded SOOO much like an old black soul singer, not a 22 year old 1/2 white girl from Long Island...what happened to that voice? One would think that especially with the recharged hip-hop energy in her life, she would be more soulful...Mariah Carey, where has your soul gone?

ps- why do none of your videos make any sense?

SCORE(S)?

Kids, I'm worried. It's been reported that my Lindsay Lohan has been hanging out with non other than Kate Moss. La Lohan and Ms Moss were spotted at Scores doing pole dances for patrons. Now, I don't care about the age different between the two. What bothers me is- Kate Moss has a kid who was nearly taken away from her after her whole coke-in-the-studio incident. It's been said that she doesn't spend enough time with her. Then what the fuck is she doing at Scored at 3 in the morning on a Tuesday night? Take your skinny ass home and spend the evening with your daughter! Or better yet- get back to London- they're waiting for you afterall. Or call Boy George and get some tips on staying a little more low-profile until the time is right...

I don't understand where their agents and managers and publicists are. Why do Kate's people even let her out of the house right now? That bitch should have an ankle monitor linked to her publicist until this storm brews over. A person working on addiction and custody disputes is best avoiding strip clubs with minors....and Lindsay- how can you become so furious and upset about an article that was written about you that you provided the information for- "I didn't use drugs or have bulimia. That story is false!" Yes, youre right. Pole dancing at Scores with a scandal-ridden coke head (not to mention that youre not yet 21) is totally going to get the judge to throw the book at Vanity Fair...Uh...at least the good crazies are better at hiding it- or they think that they are...

Speaking of crazies- I saw my childhood crush the other night. Debbie/Deborah Gibson. On "Skating With The Stars," nonetheless...WHY??? After her teen-sensation career, Debbie became Deborah and did her Broadway thing- and did a good job at it. Good reviews, good offers....and then came SWTS. I imagine that she is either cut early from the show or else it is prerecorded because she is doing "Cabaret" in North Carolina in February......Good. Get your ass on stage, where it belongs, not in the rink...Recapture your electric youth....

Who comes up with these stupid ideas- SWTS, DancingWTS, But Can They Sing? I know that stars can probably dance. And some can sing. And some are good cooks. And some have pets. But I don't need to watch them on TV. Why not write another sitcom thats not a medical or legal story?

They should have a show called- Who Gives a Shit!

Check it Out...

So, bitches, check out the following-


Adriana Vink- could this baby be cuter???!!!

Hotter than Dratch- it's her birthday asap. Send the love...


Madonna- cause I can't help it...

update tomorrow...

Twinkle, Twinkle (not so) Little Star...

What the fuck? Star Jones is everywhere! Not only is she all over about her weight loss- though I think she looks like she's trying to be the next Nicole Richie...never gonna happen. Nikki is in a class by herself and she looks amazing! And she doesn't need to go all Carnie Wilson on our asses. But, because her book is such a success and she fancies herself an author, Star is also now a blogger- check it out. It literally makes me want to throw up. I don't know how many people actually really like Star- I mean, she doesn't have the best rep around the world- so I don't think her readership will sky rocket. Meredith Viera certainly won't be plugging that shit...We all know that story...

To make matters worse, she is also going to be the guest tonight on one of my favourite shows- Larry King Live. What? According to the ad for the show, she will be taking calls regarding her life, the law, her book, her marriage and her weight loss....

Hmm...everyone knows she is a LAWYER. But I don't know how many people care that she had gastric bypass or that she's married to a fag...I mean....married to her husband....What kind of calls is she going to get-

Larry King- Susan from Kansas City, you're on the air...

Susan- Hi Larry, how are you?

LK- Great, thanks....do you have a question for Star?

Susan- Yeah, I do...Hi, Star

Star- Hi...and it's Ms. Star Jones-Reynolds, ESQ

Susan- Um, yeah...my question is- Why are you such a nasty bitch all the time?

Shine on, little Miss Payless, shine on...

Get Out (of my crib) Right Now...

So, I'm at the gym running my ass off and playing on the TV in front of my machine is MTV Cribs. Normally, I don't care so much about watching L'il Bow Wow (or, excuse me, Bow Wow- all grown up now) show me his $85,000 Cristal chiller in his Atlanta manse. But, it was there and I figured, why not...

But, as I round mile 4 (thank you very much) everyone's favourite tween crooner, JoJo is showing us her 'vacation home' which, if I remember correctly, is somewhere on the cape...(though, from the house, you would guess she meant the Cape of Good Hope cause this crib was busted)

She's standing in the kitchen and she goes- this house is small, so I can turn around and be in the dining room. She goes upstairs to her bedroom which is tiny and boring. There's a back yard with a picnic table. The basement looks like anyone's basement. And in the hallway is her plaque from when her record went gold. I kept thinking- Why is this at the beach with you? Why isn't this mounted at your real house (in New Jersey, by the way)....

My point in all of this- MTV is getting desperate. I don't mind that JoJo is on the show. But I don't give a shit about her stupid beach house that is in dire need of a coat of paint. I miss the days when Mimi Carey was showing off her enormous bathtub in that penthouse apartment. If I'm going to watch opulent homes unfolding around me, they better be good. I can't wait until my 2 bedroom Lower East Side apartment is featured in the new March edition. I better make my bed thumb-tack some reviews of my last show on the wall so I have something to show off...

H&R get off of my Block!

So its 4 January and H&R Block hasn't missed a beat...true to form, I got a nice reminder from them that Tax Season is in bloom and they're there for me. Great to know, but I think I need my fucking W2 forms first. It's been 2006 for 4 days. Can I please just have a minute to breathe?!

Speaking of breathing- Get Well Soon Lindsay Morgan! (Lindsay Lohan, for those of you who aren't in the know....but Perez calls her L.M. and I like it so I'll steal it but give him the credit). As you should know, Lindz was hospitalized in Miami after suffering an awful asthma attack and rupturing a blood vessle from coughing too much. Lindz, honey, stop smoking so many Newports! Stick with the coke- it keeps you thinner and you don't cough and won't get lung cancer...However, bombshell- Vanity Fair has La Lohan on the cover and a great interview with her wherein she admits to drug use and bulimia....I just have to say- honey, we already knew all of this. Just because you didn't say it out loud, doesn't mean that it didn't happen.
Get some rest and stay hot and thin!

And Shakira- call me when you get this...

Happy 2000-SEX, bitches!

Ok, Ok...its been like 3 weeks. But, don't judge me. Times are tough and this bitch has been busy...

Recap- Went to Pennsylvania for 6 days. Decent hot times were had. One of my resolutions for the new year is to learn to post pictures on this bitch and to update at least twice a week....so, PA, check...back to NYC for the New Year. Crazy fucking tourists everywhere and as we speak, clean-up is still happening. Tax dollars hard at work!

Made a list of goals for the year. They're locked up tighter than my ass so lets hope that they somehow come true. Anything that could be 'resolution' material, I've already done- quit smoking in 2004, joined a gym in 2005, I usually eat pretty healthy, I am aware of my weight, I'm active, I really don't have any bad habits...except for the gay thing...SO, I pulled a Mariah Carey (you know Mimi doesnt have birthdays, she has 'anniversaries') and so, I don't have resolutions, I have goals...

I will say this though, cause I'm not sharing my goals (superstition- don't share your wish or it won't come true)- I do want to try to be a nicer, better, more conscious person. That doesnt mean I'll lose my edge or nasty bite though. I know that's what you all want anyway and I'm here to serve my people. The quicker everyone learns that I am always right, the better....just kidding...sort of...

Anyway...so I need to know if Angelina Jolie is pregnant or not for sure. Perez insists. It must be true....but I want an official announcement...She will be the hottest pregs ever. Especially if she is still seen in those hot Chanel sunglasses all the time...

Why can't I stop singing Shakira "Don't Bother"...it replays in my head too often...has it replaced "Hung Up"? NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Ok, this is rambling now and stupid. Just wanted to let you know that I'm back and hopefully the hot wit will return momentarily...or soon, anyway...

love and light to everyone in 2006. Let's make it the best!
'06 is the year of Page Six!

-pc