Tanya KNEEdS love...(and attention and money)...

"I'm coming after YOU!"




Doesn't Jan Carl look scared shitless standing next to Tanya Harding? I would too- that bitch is fucking scary! Don't catch her before lunch...

My question is- why the fuck is she on TV? What motivated ET! to run a week-long story about her and put her on TV? Look, she screwed up, committed a crime (sort of), she got fat and got some press- yeah, most of it bad. Now she's broke and wants attention and money? Honey, go back to that awful wresting/boxing show you did- only this time, Sumo style- and give TV time to Nancy Kerrigan's teeth...at least she earned it!

She Wants Money...

No, bitches, it's not Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham...it's not Victoria Gotti...it's Anna Nicole, baby!  (who, strangely enough is actually named Vicky...didn't realize the thread I was starting with the resemblances...) Anna is back in court- again- to contest the judgement of her dead-husband's will... I don't understand when they will get it....just give her the money- she's got the Viper, she's got the body...she looks great- (though I did see a picture of her in a hot wetsuit where she had awful blonde knee-length dreadlocks that looked like they weighed about 50 pounds and she looked like she was in pain...didn't look so great then...)
 
She made that old guy happy for the last bit of his life- I think that she deserves a little something...especially if she went down on him...shit, give her everything if she went down on him! Plus, they have shown her dead-beat family on so many TV shows...you know those bumblefuckers have tried their best to cash in on something from her...didn't she send back enough tip money to some of them when she was a stripper?

Anna Nicole made it the American way...bad home, troubled youth, stripper, gold-digger, networker- to get where she is...She's like any other woman in her position. She's just more famous...But she's now resigned to hawking weight loss products? She doesn't need to lose anymore weight. Just let her have some cash, give her another TV show and let her be Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna Nicole- you're so outrageous!

(though, between you and me- she might want to get a new lawyer....after all of his stupid appearances on her first show and the fact that he STILL hasn't won this case for her...I'm just saying...)

Blase Blah Blah Blah (take me to my car)

Ok,what's the deal?..I keep having dreams about Amanda Lepore and frankly, its starting to scare me...as Ann and Nancy Wilson would say- 'these dreams go on...when I close my eyes....every second of the night...I live another life"... and in it, we apparently hang out all the time...it's fate, I guess...I suppose it means I'll be making an appearance on her new show...

For those of you- (and thank you, Katina, for mentioning that you read this because I literally had began to think that perhaps I was the only person who read this)- for those of you who are hip to the scene- check out Amanda Lepore . Talk about amazing- so nice and so real (and I'm not making a joke about this one). Amanda is seriously one of the nicest people I've met...She's been snapped up by William Morris and they're trying to get her a show about her life....talk about HOT!!

I read today in Page Six that Mandy had a little run-in while she was in London and they made her get her ass back on the plane to New York because of improper visa's. Apparently she was there to promote her new album at a club and when asked what the purpose of her visit was, at customs, she said- "I'm working". Wrong answer- since she didn't have a work visa...Poor thing! Honesty is NOT always the best policy... Get back over there, girl- they need to hear "Champagne" and "My Hair Looks Fierce" in the UK...I don't know much about visa's, but your hair looks fierce!

PS- NBC, if you're smart, book Amanda to host SNL...and she could double as the musical guest....snatch up her snatch now before it's too hot to handle!

PPS- yes, I'm super drunk in this picture- hence the wink that appeared all night...

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Gear up, bitches! Sandy B is back! And she means business...

My favourite comedian/author/singer/rockstar/visionary is finally bringing her show "Everything Bad Beautiful" to NYC after an incredible run in L.A. last year...I imagine I'll go at least 10 times... Sandy and I go way back to her Joe's Pub run in 2004. She's incredibly nice, witty and spicy- everything we love. It's rare that I can watch a show hundreds of times- but hers, I can...and do...

I've been waiting for this to hit New York all year. Buy your tickets now to behold all that is Sandy- and check our her website for more info...


Sandra Bernhard
Everything Bad & Beautiful

Daryl Roth Theatre
101 East 15th Street NY, NY

Performances Begin March 29th!
Performance Schedule:
Tuesday through Friday at 8 PM
Saturday at 7 PM and 10 PM
Sunday at 7 PM

Tickets are priced from $35 to $70.
All seats for the 10 PM performance on Saturdays are priced at $35.




There will be a limited number of student rush tickets at $25, day of performance with student I.D.

Tickets and information available through Telecharge.com at (212) 239-6200

All What?!

Remember this girl? Lori Beth Denberg? She fucking rules!

Whatever happened to "All That," the show that gave Lori Beth her break? Why is this girl always given stupid roles on stupider shows- i.e. "The Steve Harvey Show"?

Someone give her a hot new show because she's awesome! And give me her number- I want to have margaritas and chips and salsa with her!

Forever Your Crazy...

Paula, Paula, Paula....you need to watch your ass! Have you learned nothing from those stupid allegations from the American Idol reject? As I watch you, stoned out of your mind, bobbing your head to the horrible song selecions of tonight's episode, I'm amazed that none of the producers have pulled you aside, put their hands around your throat and warned your ass. They own you and you're going to become a total liability... Honey, I love that you flirt with these guys- even though they're not even that good looking. And, I hope you fucked the crap out of that mid-western law-suit hungry piece of trash. You've earned it, girl! But, your insanity astounds me. Your passion for these kids is great. But your googly eyes and gaga smiles are going overboard. I hope that it's just painkiller induced and not lust....who am I kidding? I hope it's both...

Now, sell the shit out of those KLEGG's (and send me one)

PS- Please, contestants, stop singing Christina Aguilera songs. You'll never do them correctly. Ever.
(and to the kid who sang 'Copa Cabana' tonight- please go home and shave your stupid mustache. And don't come back.)

PPS- Have they changed the age requirements for A.I.? There is a 16 year old who sings like he's got a mouth full of dog crap...and a grey haired crazy...who are these people? Can I meet them?

Saved by the Bride

Is it just me or does Elizabeth Berkeley look like the Corpse Bride? I knew Liz had a hard time getting work after her incredible turn as Nomi Malone (loves me some SHOWGIRLS!) but could she have stooped to this? On my flight yesterday from San Juan to JFK, 'Corpse Bride' was the film that was shown (thank you AA) and the entire time I kept thinking- Tim Burton totally modeled this girl after Jessie Spano! Why didn't he ask Lizzie to play her instead of his wife?  I'm sure she would have said yes! She would have been 'so excited....so excited...so...scared...'

HELP

SO, this is an old friend of mine who I havent seen in forever. He's MIA. If you know anything about him, let me know. He still owes me a make out...

HARDing times...

can you believe that this is actually Tanya Harding? Maybe it's just water weight from her Celebrity Boxing stints? She looks almost like a really depressed 40 year old Jan Brady on celebrity Jeopardy (check out the background)....promise me I'll never look like this...