Ray of Light

It gives me hope, knowing that Madonna once worked at a Times Square Dunkin Donuts...

Heard it Through the Grapevine...

Celebs do it all...money, fame, power, great careers, clothing lines, and now personalized wine!

I've decided that I want to be friends with Lorraine Bracco....I've always liked her, but never saw her as anything special. Just another actress. Though she did make "Medicine Man"- one of the only movies set in a jungle that actually made sense and didn't involve Jennifer Lopez...However, she was married to Edward James Olmos, (which seems just plain wrong and scares me slightly) which gives her a connection to J-Lo so...you do the math...

However, today on Martha Stewart's new talk show, she was on highlighting her trip to Italy on a venture to make her own wine- (score 1 point!)...She's at the wine tasting in Tuscany to get some ideas for what sort of taste she's looking for. She makes the joke "I didnt know you were supposed to spit the wine out...hahahaha...". But when they show her next, you can see that she's really not kidding- head bobbing a little, glazed look on her face and laughing a little too loudly (still drinking)...Lorraine also pointed out that it was 11 in the morning (score 2 points!).

SO the video docu is over and she and Martha are tasting the new BRACCO wines (note to self- where can I find these wines? From the noises Martha was making as she 'tasted' (she swallowed too), I could do with some Bracco in my life!) And they are chatting about something and Lorraine said- "Look, I just like to eat and I like to drink...a lot". Me too Lorraine! We could be such good friends....

If anyone knows how I can get in touch with Ms. Bracco, please let me know. I'd like to take her to drunk-Brunch...or at least score a bottle of her Chianti...

Once, Before I Go...

Ok, I have to post again today, even though I find it tedious...I have a few hours of spare time on my hand which never happens....so, I am trying to make myself a little computer savvy and I am hooking up (or starting to hoook up) some links on this page of friends and people I admire....

While doing it, I of course have the TV going with an E! special on Mariah Carey...I think I like Mariah because she is actually insane (in a good way, of course)...I just had to laugh when shes talking about her tour regime and they are like- "Vocal rest means sleeping for 14 hours and no talking- no exceptions!"...I wish I could sleep for 14 hours....but this begs the question- if she sleeps for 14 hours, that leaves 10 hours in the day to get all of the press stuff done and for some reason that just doesn't seem like enough time to me.

I wish Mariah would refer to me as a 'lamb' as she does the rest of her fans...she and Gwen Stefani might need to duke it out over the copyright for that one...but my favourite part of the show- Mariah Carey- "I don't have birthdays...I have anniversaries"...What does that mean? They both mean the same thing- you're getting old! Anytime one documents that another year has passed, it just means you're getting old...Some of Mariah's favourite words (written on lavender cards when she's on vocal rest)- Hot Tamale (something she likes) Lamb (see above) and Fetch (cause she loves her some 'Mean Girls'....hmmm...wonder why...)

And to watch these people on the show kiss her ass! "When she thinks 'I could have hit a higher note,' we're thinking- ARE YOU KIDDING?? That was amazing!"....oh, you sad lambs...on your way to the slaughter....

...I Want the World to Know...

Hey Bitches! Thanks to everyone who 'came out' last night to "Coming Out" at the Tank. What a blast! Such a great collection of homo-talent- an honour to be included with them. Gay really are funny! My ditty gave me some great responses and really helped map out a portion of the show I've been writing for myself for the past three years. I might actually finish sometime soon. Maybe...anyway, keep checking out Minty Fresh and The Tank for future shows, including the November installment of Coming Out. And, look for me to be back sometime in 2006 when the show finds a new home- with a tailored, revamped version sure to include missing facts and info that I forgot last night...

So, If you check out my good friend and new mom Carolyn Castiglia's blog or website, you will see some stuff from her baby roast this summer, including pictures of our friend Lianne getting smashed and throwing up....Long story short, I think that Li looks like Rachel Dratch and I kept calling her Dratch all night. She's actually in my phone book as Dratch. And, I've met the real Dratch and I will attest, faux-Dratch does look like real-Dratch....Anyway, Carolyn mentioned this on her blog and some hard core RD fans found this insulting/puzzling/troubling and started attacking it on a message board. Check it out. People are sad.

Is it wrong that I find it sad that there are actually message boards dedicated not only to this situation, but to Rachel Dratch in general? No disrespect to Dratch- faux or real- but come on...It's funny how people have nothing better to do than start message boards and interact. It's like a bar for sad, sober people who can't actually approach someone or hold a real conversation so they take the time to argue with each other via the 'net. When I want to argue, I just call my mom...

PS- Has anyone seen the new cabbage patch kids? Can anyone tell me why they've become so scary?? Having just seen a baby that's less than a week old, if my kid looked like one of these new dolls, I think I'd bury it alive...in the cabbage patch...

Take Your Mama Out...

CONGRATULATIONS to Carolyn and Mark. Check out Adriana Vink - isn't she cute?!

So, I'm confused...why does each new tv show claim to be 'the new whatever'...i.e- all of these shows that claim to be 'the new Sex in the City'. All of these shows are 'from the creators of...(insert show here)'. So the same old ideas and story lines are revamped and changed with new characters. Every new show is a legal show, a medical show or a 'Desperate Housewives-esque/Sex in the City-esque' show. If I want to watch someone pretend to be Carrie Bradshaw, I'll rent the DVD's of Sex in the City and watch SJP do it- and do it right. I don't want imitations. Its like the rotating Becky syndrome on Roseanne. Sarah Chalke is much better suited for Scrubs than she was for the role of Becky... I can watch the originals of these shows and be more entertained that watching something new try to hard to be like the old/cancelled show. Is no one in Hollywood creative anymore?

Put Laura Flynn Boyle back on TV, give Sandra Bernhard her own show and rethink the cancellation of Taradise....is that really too much to ask for??!!

Happy Birthday to...where are you??

Today is my great friend Carolyn Castiglia's due date. Adriana is supposed to be born today but the word from the peanut gallery is that her flight may have been delayed. Official reports have stated that 12 October may be the day for induction. Poor Carolyn...after nine months of having a baby inside of you, you'd think that 3 days would be nothing. But, I imagine it's quite the opposite. After gearing up for 'that' date for so long, 3 more days must seem like an eternity...the anxiety and anticipation to see your child for the first time...plus, of course, the realization that your vagina is going to be widened 30 times it's normal size....all things to think about and prepare for and pray about...

I remember waiting for my 16th birthday so that I could get my driver's license. I went the exact day because I couldn't wait any longer. If someone had told me, 'well, you're going to have to wait three more days (maybe longer),' I would have died! Three more days until the most important day of your life is going to occur...how do you contain yourself, Carolyn? Good Luck! I'm thinking of you!

On a different note, I was at the gym yesterday putting in my mileage on the eliptical machine- 3.5 miles in 30 minutes...not too bad for a former smoker who could hardly run one mile in 30 minutes in high school! Anyway, as I was sweating and chugging along to myTunes (haha), I noticed Cheyenne Jackson of "ALL SHOOK UP" was at a machine in front of me doing his tricep regime. Talk about a tall drink of water! I picked up the pace as I ran...I'd seen him before once in the locker room (I know, I know) but not since...I guess since the show's closing, he has a bit more time on his hand to be steam rooming it...In anycase, anyone who can still look good in gym regala- sweaty baseball cap included is OK in my book. I, myself, was all shook up...

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Best of...http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

Ok, Ok...I realize I don't update nearly as much as I should, or as much as most of my counterparts who actually have readers....But mama has a busier life than those kids!

Last night, I was enjoying a nice Rosh Hashanah dinner with some of my tribe friends at Mo Pitkins on the LES and I look up from our table and who do I see- Michael Musto from the Village Voice chatting up the chef! He only stayed for a few minutes...I think he grabbed take-out and headed home. Sad.

And fall is officially celeb-sighting time in New York. All the greats return from the coast to see the foliage turn and enjoy sweater-wearing. I went to a birthday party on Monday evening for the one and only Mr. Jason Eagan who turned 30. The red carpet was rolled out and the drag queen bouncers led the way to sheer glory and an open bar. My friend Tiffani was my date. We arrived wearing jeans and carrying a bouquet for the birthday boy. We got out of the elevator and the room silenced and the music stopped and everyone turned to look. Then they realized that it was us, and they started again....Here, it turns out, from behind door number two, Christine Ebersole appeared to sing "The Man that Got Away". I've gotta give it to her- A. she can sing and B. she had no make-up on, white pants with drawstring ankles and a baggy sweatshirt. She looked like shit and didn't give a fuck! Then like an ghost, she was gone.

John Cameron Mitchell in full-man attire waiting in line for the bathroom, wherein Tiffolicious chatted him up about a party he hosted that she went to for Hedwig and he didn't even remember the party. All that Short Bus stuff has rubbed off on him...

And of course, my favourite, Max Von Essen looking fine in his cream coloured blazer and bedroom eyes...
Oh the dreams I had that night...

Happy 30th, Jason!

And to all of you, check it out-
COMING OUT
Thursday, 20th October, 8pm
The Tank- 208 West 37th St. $5

I, along with other local homo-entertainers will be recounting the tales of that fateful day when the closet door opened...for good...
www.mintyfreshcomedy.com for more info