Country JEWsic?

My two new favourite shows-


Mazel Tov!


Delta Dawn (what's that flower you got on?)
 
Could a Rabbi telling people how to stop fucking up their lives be any hotter? Could a reality show starring country music's royal family be any more entertaining? My answer- NO and NO! When Tanya Tucker's daugher tells her that her smoking makes her cough and Tanya promises to (try to) quit (but doesn't), it breaks my heart and i TIVO that shit the next week. I love it. (ps- for being a life long smoker and former boozer/druggie/whateverelse, T.T. looks amazing!)

Check them out on TLC- the new saviour of television....(any producers, writers, etc- give me a show. I'll turn your shit to gold!)

Family Matters (and more XXX tales)

Remember her?

Yeah, she's a porn star now.... Its so true. It was an urban legend until I actually did my research. Little Judy Winslow grew up to take it in the butt...

Remember her character? Remember when she left? Yeah, no one does. The season ended, Laura and Judy went upstairs to go to bed and Judy never came back down. Rumour has it that her parents asked for too much money and the network just decided that they didnt need a little sister anymore...

If only life were that easy...

Dirty South in the Hizzy!

Hey bitches-

Coming to you live from New Bern, NC (home of Pepsi, est. 1898...yes, its the claim to fame here). I'm in town to celebrate the Easter festivities with my brother and I must say, I feel a crucifixion coming on...

I've opted to forego my typical-as-of-late random pic posting with comments
and get back to my roots with some good old ranting, inspired by my bitch Sweet Li. Well, that and the fact that though I have complete wireless service here, my shit is fucked up and I can't post pictures...But trust me, I have made plenty of discoveries here to post about later in the week.

But, in the meantime, I'm going to just mention 5 things that I've noticed here that get my goat or that I don't understand...or both.

1. I've seen more churches in this town that I have in my entire life. Literally, there are more pews here than there are people. Some of them have radio broadcast capability. And gyms. Nothing pleases the Lord more than a slam dunk after a snake venom revival!

2. I find it funny that most people find it acceptable to use sentences such as "Y'all I been done called him and he was fixing to git here soon."

3. Once can purchase wine (and decent wine, I might add) at Wal-Mart, but not past 1 am. (You know, state laws and all...nothing good happens after midnight)

4. Women, especially young ones with too much eyeliner, are all up on the knock-off designer purses. They have no idea that the real version of the bag they bought at a home party retails for $1700, or who Karl Lagerfeld or Tom Ford are...just that monogram is hot hot HOT!

5. Nightlife is hot at the Sheraton Hotel. Trust me, I checked it out last night.

Security Guard- Are you 21?
Me- Yeah, would you like to see my ID? I'm actually 2# (yeah, I'm not telling you guys)
Security Guard- No, I trust you. Have fun.

Oh, and the rule of the place- men needed to have their shirts tucked in.

Funny, I could put on a frozen tshirt that would show my hard nipples to win $100...as long as it was tucked in...

More to come from the land of Dixie...

Speaking of Tough...

Meet my posse:

Police Hunt 4 Women In Beating Death Of Bingo Winner

POSTED: 12:25 am EDT April 11, 2006

UPDATED: 10:04 am EDT April 11, 2006

Police in Toronto are searching for four women suspected of beating a man to death over a $1,000 jackpot he had just won in a bingo hall, according to Local 6 News.Police said Yousif Youkhana, 58, was walking outside the Country Bingo Hall over the weekend with his $1,000 winnings when he was approached by the women.When Youkhana refused to hand over the jackpot, the women kicked and punched him, the report said.Witnesses said the man stumbled back into the bingo hall after the attack and later died from his injuries.The women fled on foot after the beating, according to witnesses.Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.

He's a Survivor...

Why?




Why is this man still in the news? I can't decide whether they segregated him in prison because he's a 'celebrity,' a homo or a fat, disgusting human being....maybe a little of each...

Remember this tough bitch?

I didn't watch this season of "Survivor" (or any season after because I hate this show) but I love her crass, bad ass attitude, white trash accent and say-what-I-want way of life...

Now, I know she's a trucker but I'm positive that she could be a prison guard. They should send her in there to kick some sense into his tax evading ass...or at least fuck him...

Let's Hear it for the Girl!

Today on "Martha"...






My hometown girl, Sharon Stone is the guest on Martha today. decorating cakes and discussing her stroke and charity work...I love her and I think she's just plain great. The cat's meow...

I have this vision that some day, because we are from the same PA town (well, half an hour away, but still) we will collaborate and present an award together....we will laugh like old friends and have secret inside jokes- like she'll say something and I'll wink at her and she'll just get it and we'll burst into hysterics like two little girls at a slumber party...It will be so hot...maybe our good old Pennsylvania town will present us with a key to the city or something....We'll show up to the ceremony late, dressed in matching black Dior suits with hot sunglasses that we don't take off, accept the award and retreat to the VIP reception, sip Moet and talk about how glad we were to escape our surroundings....

But, for as much as I like her, I have to make one demand- NO MORE EXTENSIONS, Sharon! Please, what happened to your hot, short, bitchy hair?...I can deal with the sunkissed orange glow, but the extensions need to go. They make you look like you have a cheap wig on. They don't frame your face correctly....They worry me...

Mandisa Hates F*GS??

You Dirty Bitch!

SHAME SHAME SHAME!
A black diva who doesn't embrace her gay audience? I'm fucking shocked!

And to think, I liked you. Don't you know that everyone except your gay fans just sees you as the fat bitch who got the boot?! Listen, you don't have to perform at the Roxy on a Saturday night, but give me a break...Your views don't agree with homosexuality...fine, I can accept/respect that...mine don't agree with gluttony...

HOWEVER, I will say, I admire this little tidbit from your 'Advocate' interview

Do you think gay people can turn straight?


I don't really know. I honestly don't know much

about it. I wouldn't be very knowledgeable to speak on

that subject.

That's right, bitch. If you don't know, then shut your fucking mouth!

HOWEVER, if you don't 'agree' with being gay and don't want to be around 'it', why the fuck did you give an interview to the Advocate?! As Cazwell would say- 'its all about the press'...

The clock is ticking...you've got about nine minutes left...

I should sick Paula Abdul's crazy ass on you- and trust me- with her 'bad back', it won't be pretty...

HONEY, The Shit WAS Insane!

WOOHOO!!

That's right, bitches!

Tonight was Sandy B's opening night and let me just say- FRONT ROW CENTER! Can you imagine? Absolutely incredible. And, so inspiring to me....Among the guests- Donna Karan, Liza Minnelli, Isaac Mizrahi, Marc Jacobs, Michelle Leigh, Robert Verdi, and the NY Post's Cindy Adams to name a few...(ps, they all sat behind me)
The after party- incredible.... LOGO in the house...Open bar, great music, great people, and Sandy B...who I talked with and got the hot picture above...so nice... I'll be back...ASAP...

and the gift bag- thank you to WELL VITAMINS.... and MAC (theres a shade of lipstick, which I now own, called Sandy B)

See you next week Sandy- and to Stephanie Lippman "Militia"- way to blow it out, bitch!

You're KIDDing me!

No matter how gruff and grim Jason Kidd looks above, I'm telling you, KIDDS, it's not real....
had a run in with him last night and his family...so incredibly nice...and tall...and hot...well behaved children, a gorgeous wife, homo nephew and his 'friend' (loves it that he was out to eat with the mo's- and in public...seems homo nephew is on Broadway and the family made an outing to see him) and this incredible witchy-dressed classy blonde, who looked like Christine Ebersole or Sally Mays...(but her outfit was more Stevie Nicks....so coven and...black lace, of course)


Mr. Kidd, you've made a Nets fan out of me...and I don't believe the domestic abuse accusations for a second!

So NoTORIous

Ok, if you haven't seen it, WATCH IT!. Who knew Tori Spelling was so likeable? She pokes fun at ther family, her money, Hollywood and most importantly, herself. I'm totally obsessed with her show....anyone who can get me on it, please, be in touch!

Could Tori Spelling be the most important woman in Hollywood?? Well...

At least she looks incredible! Look at that hair!)