How to Lose Your Kids in 30 Days...

...enough said...

BFF's...

Ok, I just wanted to introduce you to my new best friend- Zahara Marley Jolie-Pitt...
Not even two years old and look at her 'fuck you!' attitude working the camera. She's already an old pro..."Oh, you're there with a camera? That's nice. I'm busy...." That sullen, surly face...I love it...I know who's gonna run that show soon.
And, she's going to be HOT-T when she's older. Gorgeous skin and legs for days. I love this girl!

Look out Paris and Nicole, it's PC and Baby Z!

Umm...

Wait...someone forgot to tell me that this show was still on the air...
The question is, why?...

signed,
Team Grey's Anatomy

ps- Maura Tierny, grab your Newports and jump this sinking ship before it completely sucks you in...You're the only good thing left, aside from Weaver and her crutches....she'll be fine left to her own devices, I'm sure...

Do They Ever Learn?

Kristen, listen. We need to have a talk. You did that shitty movie, "The Shaggy Dog" that I believe went straight to DVD. You've done nothing, really since. Fine. You have money for days from "Sex in the City". Great. Look, Cynthia has done some Broadway. She shacked up with the that dykey education advocate. Bliss...Kim Catrall went to the West End. Did that sex book with her ex. Beautiful. SJP did a few shitty movies, but they were mainstream. And she's a fashion icon. Quote un-Quote.

Look, I know you have a problem with the vino. You said it yourself that you don't drink because you're not one of those people who can have 'just one'. Fine. Neither am I (but, truth be told, I don't let it stop me). But Kristen, why the fuck are you making another stupid Disney-esque movie? "Deck the Halls" SJP's husband can make stupid movies like that. He's good at it. And he's in it with you. Danny Devito hasn't done anything since "Twins". Kristen Chenowith is trying to make it into the picture shows. Let them have it. But, Krissy- please, just stop. You're costing more than you're making.

Look, my advice- get drunk and call it a day...at least you'd have something to blame your bad choices on.

A New Day...

So, blogger has changed the way things are done.

So...I decided, whilst sitting here with my throat infection and coffee, vitamin water and fat free Fig Newtons, that I could multi task and catch up with my "House of Carters" and edit some things of my own at the same time.

Do you love the new look? Yeah, I do too...

Enjoy the picture from Halloween...
I'll be back in a little bit. Be ready...

Hold On... For One More Meal...

Carnie Wilson....

I just read today that she admitted that she traded in her eating addiction for booze and had to seek help...bitch said she was drinking 10 martinis a day...my kind of lady!

This makes me like her even more for 4 reasons-
1. We both used to be fat
2. We can both hold our liquor
3. We both sing along to "Wilson Phillips"
4. Based on her life lately, we both have the same amount of money in the bank...

ps- Carnie, I'm still hungry too...you'll get used to it...

Honorary Colt?

Just a quick shout out to my new fans and friends in Indianapolis!

Ps- the Colts are a football team, right?

Stay tuned for more...you just might get a Nick Lachey update...

Pps- I sat in front of a woman from the David Letterman show on my flight back to New York- coincidence?! I think not... anycase, she was arranging transportation for Britney Spears for tomorrow...I don't know if it was top secret or not, but I like to pretend that it is...let's just say that Brit demands a big SUV, not a small one...probably to fit her husband's ego in it...